Thoraiya DyerCan Horoscopes Predict Tennis Results?
April 25th 2008 00:25
Trying to find the Tennis Grand Final results this week (Estoril Open), I was annoyed to discover that the local paper had managed to fit the horoscopes in, but not the tennis.
In a publication calling itself a NEWSpaper, how could it be that made-up gobbledygook like weekly horoscopes took automatic precedence over something that REALLY happened?
Then it struck me.
Maybe it’s NOT made-up gobbledygook.
Maybe I was supposed to USE the horoscopes to find out who won the tennis match between Roger Federer and Nikolay Davydenko!
So, I looked up their birthdays ( Roger Federer: Born: 8-Aug-1981 in Basel, Switzerland; Davydenko: Born on June 2, 1981, in Severodonetsk, Ukraine; Federer is a Leo, Davydenko is a Gemini) and gave it a shot.
According to http://horoscope.tesnique.com , Federer’s forecast for 21st April was:
You will be able to relax enjoying what you like. You will get answers to your problem when you go outside.
Davydenko’s forecast for 21st April was:
You should look back on yourself to see if you are not lying to yourself or not. If you are being dishonest to your feelings, you might miss something important. Honesty is the best.
That seemed to suggest that Federer won. “You will get answers to your problem when you go outside.”
Clear as a bell!
I decided to check other astrology websites, though. I know, I know, we’re all supposed to be looking at the same stars, but obviously some people draw different conclusions to others.
At http://horoscopes.astrology.com, I discovered:
Federer: LEO, July 23-August 22, Daily Overview: April 21, 2008
Issues are more complex than they appear on the surface and that could mean that you've got to push through ordinary conversations to get at the reality. People may not like it, but it has to be done!
Davydenko: GEMINI, May 21-June 21, Daily Overview: April 21, 2008
It's a good day to take care of the basics, like car maintenance and household cleaning. Your energy is more focused on the mundane than the fun or far-flung, so take advantage of it while it lasts!
This one was trickier to work out. Issues were complex for Federer, but apparently Davydenko spent the day cleaning his house. Who had won the match???
In desperation, I tried one more.
At Really Long Link , I found this:
Federer: Leo: Monday, April 21 2008. You have loads of self-confidence, and your usual shyness fades as you promote your professional goals as well as your personal goals. This is a time when you would enjoy learning a musical instrument--or some new hobby. If you are already familiar with a particular instrument, try another one, just for the fun of it. Try one of the cassette tape tutors with a simple instrument. You might surprise yourself. A co-worker is fascinated and may join you in this endeavor of learning. You may feel that you are in touch and in harmony with others; the lines of communication are open. You may sense that your physical energy and psychological frame of mind runs smoothly now. You will soon be working in a worthwhile volunteer group.
Davydenko: Gemini: Monday, April 21 2008. A lot of things are accomplished today, particularly in the work environment. Work, relationships and life in general seems to fit together rather nicely. Your personality and mode of living will be changeable now. You are adaptable to others, but you should be careful of bending over backwards just to help or please someone. You may eventually feel yourself being used--no resentments please. If you think about it, you can be realistic in your abilities and expectations. Your comprehension of issues is broadened and your inner peace makes you tolerant of dissenting views. Your judgment is good and leads to success. You may be able to enjoy and value your own life situation today. You may find the door of progress is open wide.
Now, I was really confused. Federer was promoting his professional goals, Davydenko was accomplishing a lot in the work environment, and I still didn’t know who had won the final.
Could Chinese Horoscopes help me, perhaps?
Really Long Link
Alas!
Both strapping lads were born in the Year of the Rooster. No way to separate their fortunes.
In the end, I checked the Sydney Morning Herald online.
Turns out that on April 21st, in the tennis match between Roger Federer and Nikolay Davydenko, the latter retired with an injury, giving Federer the cup.
I used the local paper to line my canary cage. Maybe Angry the Canary will enjoy reading the horoscopes. That’s just about his reading level, I think.
In a publication calling itself a NEWSpaper, how could it be that made-up gobbledygook like weekly horoscopes took automatic precedence over something that REALLY happened?
Then it struck me.
Maybe it’s NOT made-up gobbledygook.
Maybe I was supposed to USE the horoscopes to find out who won the tennis match between Roger Federer and Nikolay Davydenko!
So, I looked up their birthdays ( Roger Federer: Born: 8-Aug-1981 in Basel, Switzerland; Davydenko: Born on June 2, 1981, in Severodonetsk, Ukraine; Federer is a Leo, Davydenko is a Gemini) and gave it a shot.
According to http://horoscope.tesnique.com , Federer’s forecast for 21st April was:
You will be able to relax enjoying what you like. You will get answers to your problem when you go outside.
Davydenko’s forecast for 21st April was:
You should look back on yourself to see if you are not lying to yourself or not. If you are being dishonest to your feelings, you might miss something important. Honesty is the best.
That seemed to suggest that Federer won. “You will get answers to your problem when you go outside.”
Clear as a bell!
I decided to check other astrology websites, though. I know, I know, we’re all supposed to be looking at the same stars, but obviously some people draw different conclusions to others.
At http://horoscopes.astrology.com, I discovered:
Federer: LEO, July 23-August 22, Daily Overview: April 21, 2008
Issues are more complex than they appear on the surface and that could mean that you've got to push through ordinary conversations to get at the reality. People may not like it, but it has to be done!
Davydenko: GEMINI, May 21-June 21, Daily Overview: April 21, 2008
It's a good day to take care of the basics, like car maintenance and household cleaning. Your energy is more focused on the mundane than the fun or far-flung, so take advantage of it while it lasts!
This one was trickier to work out. Issues were complex for Federer, but apparently Davydenko spent the day cleaning his house. Who had won the match???
In desperation, I tried one more.
At Really Long Link , I found this:
Federer: Leo: Monday, April 21 2008. You have loads of self-confidence, and your usual shyness fades as you promote your professional goals as well as your personal goals. This is a time when you would enjoy learning a musical instrument--or some new hobby. If you are already familiar with a particular instrument, try another one, just for the fun of it. Try one of the cassette tape tutors with a simple instrument. You might surprise yourself. A co-worker is fascinated and may join you in this endeavor of learning. You may feel that you are in touch and in harmony with others; the lines of communication are open. You may sense that your physical energy and psychological frame of mind runs smoothly now. You will soon be working in a worthwhile volunteer group.
Davydenko: Gemini: Monday, April 21 2008. A lot of things are accomplished today, particularly in the work environment. Work, relationships and life in general seems to fit together rather nicely. Your personality and mode of living will be changeable now. You are adaptable to others, but you should be careful of bending over backwards just to help or please someone. You may eventually feel yourself being used--no resentments please. If you think about it, you can be realistic in your abilities and expectations. Your comprehension of issues is broadened and your inner peace makes you tolerant of dissenting views. Your judgment is good and leads to success. You may be able to enjoy and value your own life situation today. You may find the door of progress is open wide.
Now, I was really confused. Federer was promoting his professional goals, Davydenko was accomplishing a lot in the work environment, and I still didn’t know who had won the final.
Could Chinese Horoscopes help me, perhaps?
Really Long Link
Alas!
Both strapping lads were born in the Year of the Rooster. No way to separate their fortunes.
In the end, I checked the Sydney Morning Herald online.
Turns out that on April 21st, in the tennis match between Roger Federer and Nikolay Davydenko, the latter retired with an injury, giving Federer the cup.
I used the local paper to line my canary cage. Maybe Angry the Canary will enjoy reading the horoscopes. That’s just about his reading level, I think.
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