Thoraiya DyerExercise equipment: Why your gearstick is just as good as the Andrew Symonds Superball
April 28th 2008 23:10
Have you ever looked at something and imagined the people of the future unearthing it in an archaeological dig?
Maybe a dog training clicker, a baby teething ring, a meat tenderiser or a rubber sandpaper holder. The people of the future are going to look at these in total bafflement and say to each other, “what the heck do you suppose they used this for?”
I think that about almost every piece of exercise and weight-training equipment I’ve ever seen. Special handles for doing push-ups. Special frames for doing sit-ups. Bicycles and skis and rowboats that don’t go anywhere.
Boy, are we going to confuse those generations to come.
In Ron Goor's book “Chose to Lose Weight Loss Plan For Men,” exercise is considered vitally important, with aerobic exercise and strength training given equal weight (haha). A daily dose of 30 minutes aerobic exercise burns fat. Strength training builds muscles, and the more muscle you have, the more energy you burn.
Plus, you look buff. It all makes sense.
OK, so I’m sold on the exercise.
But there are a few things I’m NOT sold on. Such as the following items from fitbiz.com.au and fitness-equipment.com :
Pay $46.00 to stretch your calves
PLUS $2000.00 to go up fake stairs
OR use this:
And if you’re not lucky enough to have stairs in your house? Not even a front step or a back step? Go outside the front door and take a look around. In Newcastle, we have these at Merewether:
In Sydney, you can find these:
And I’m sure there’s stairs in every other city and town you can think of. But the simple act of looking for a staircase is not the only area in which you can save a bit of dosh.
Pay $1300.00 to pedal while reclining
PLUS $120 to tone your abs
OR, do this:
See how much money you’ve saved already? Not to mention garage space!
Because the fact remains that if you want to exercise, you will do it. If you don’t want to exercise, you won’t.
No amount of equipment is going to force you to do something you don’t want to do, and the fact that you can’t afford a treadmill or a private lap pool is not going to stop you from jogging around the block or swimming in the ocean or local aquatic centre.
I know people who aren’t embarrassed to lift tins of pineapple instead of dumbbells, and who made their own weights by filling plastic buckets with concrete and sticking one on either end of a metal fence post. I also know people with whole rooms of their houses devoted to useless crap covered in dust that must have set them back a fortune.
I’ve saved my favourite useless thing for last, which is this:
According to the Shock Treatment website ( Really Long Link ), the Dynaflex Gyro Exerciser, also known as the Andrew Symonds Superball, “Assists with eliminating Arm Pump, Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and all other hand, wrist, arm, elbow, forearm and shoulder conditions.”
How does it work?
Well, first you pull the cord to get the gyro started.
“Soon its whirling at over 9,000 revolutions per minute! Your wrists, grip, and arm are straining and working out against a powerhouse gyroscopic action. In fact, DynaFlex is now spinning so fast that it wants to leap out of your hand! Need a break? Slow down the rotations, or pass it on to an unsuspecting friend.”
Sounds like trying to hold onto the gear stick of my Vitara on a dirt road through the Watagan National Park.
Or trying to hold onto my cat when it’s time for a worm tablet.
Are people really going to pay $59.00 for this thing when they can get the same benefits from squeezing an orange?
And with the Superball, you don’t even get any fresh orange juice afterwards!
Well, I guess it’s up to the individual how many superfluous gadgets they want to have in their house. It’s true, a twitching gyroscopic toy with a famous cricketer on the front could conceivably be more fun than worming a cat.
Although the “unsuspecting friend” angle is also true of the cat.
Just don’t try to tell me that any of these toys are necessary. All we seem to do is invent more non-biodegradable, non-renewable rubbish to entertain ourselves with, then throw it into landfill or the ocean so it can toxically decompose and wipe out sea life.
I’m afraid I’m on the side of the archaeologists of the year 3000. It’s a demented world.
Maybe a dog training clicker, a baby teething ring, a meat tenderiser or a rubber sandpaper holder. The people of the future are going to look at these in total bafflement and say to each other, “what the heck do you suppose they used this for?”
I think that about almost every piece of exercise and weight-training equipment I’ve ever seen. Special handles for doing push-ups. Special frames for doing sit-ups. Bicycles and skis and rowboats that don’t go anywhere.
In Ron Goor's book “Chose to Lose Weight Loss Plan For Men,” exercise is considered vitally important, with aerobic exercise and strength training given equal weight (haha). A daily dose of 30 minutes aerobic exercise burns fat. Strength training builds muscles, and the more muscle you have, the more energy you burn.
Plus, you look buff. It all makes sense.
OK, so I’m sold on the exercise.
But there are a few things I’m NOT sold on. Such as the following items from fitbiz.com.au and fitness-equipment.com :
Pay $46.00 to stretch your calves
PLUS $2000.00 to go up fake stairs
OR use this:
And if you’re not lucky enough to have stairs in your house? Not even a front step or a back step? Go outside the front door and take a look around. In Newcastle, we have these at Merewether:
In Sydney, you can find these:
And I’m sure there’s stairs in every other city and town you can think of. But the simple act of looking for a staircase is not the only area in which you can save a bit of dosh.
Pay $1300.00 to pedal while reclining
PLUS $120 to tone your abs
OR, do this:
See how much money you’ve saved already? Not to mention garage space!
Because the fact remains that if you want to exercise, you will do it. If you don’t want to exercise, you won’t.
No amount of equipment is going to force you to do something you don’t want to do, and the fact that you can’t afford a treadmill or a private lap pool is not going to stop you from jogging around the block or swimming in the ocean or local aquatic centre.
I know people who aren’t embarrassed to lift tins of pineapple instead of dumbbells, and who made their own weights by filling plastic buckets with concrete and sticking one on either end of a metal fence post. I also know people with whole rooms of their houses devoted to useless crap covered in dust that must have set them back a fortune.
I’ve saved my favourite useless thing for last, which is this:
According to the Shock Treatment website ( Really Long Link ), the Dynaflex Gyro Exerciser, also known as the Andrew Symonds Superball, “Assists with eliminating Arm Pump, Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and all other hand, wrist, arm, elbow, forearm and shoulder conditions.”
How does it work?
Well, first you pull the cord to get the gyro started.
“Soon its whirling at over 9,000 revolutions per minute! Your wrists, grip, and arm are straining and working out against a powerhouse gyroscopic action. In fact, DynaFlex is now spinning so fast that it wants to leap out of your hand! Need a break? Slow down the rotations, or pass it on to an unsuspecting friend.”
Sounds like trying to hold onto the gear stick of my Vitara on a dirt road through the Watagan National Park.
Or trying to hold onto my cat when it’s time for a worm tablet.
Are people really going to pay $59.00 for this thing when they can get the same benefits from squeezing an orange?
And with the Superball, you don’t even get any fresh orange juice afterwards!
Well, I guess it’s up to the individual how many superfluous gadgets they want to have in their house. It’s true, a twitching gyroscopic toy with a famous cricketer on the front could conceivably be more fun than worming a cat.
Although the “unsuspecting friend” angle is also true of the cat.
Just don’t try to tell me that any of these toys are necessary. All we seem to do is invent more non-biodegradable, non-renewable rubbish to entertain ourselves with, then throw it into landfill or the ocean so it can toxically decompose and wipe out sea life.
I’m afraid I’m on the side of the archaeologists of the year 3000. It’s a demented world.
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Comment by Stephen Erickson
Obsession Fitness
Comment by Thoraiya Dyer
Demented World