Thoraiya DyerPhoney "Doctors" and "Engineers"
April 18th 2008 06:28
In a blog dedicated to sorting out the good science from the bad science, the trustworthy from the untrustworthy, I can usually rely on the qualification standards of both doctors and engineers when sourcing my info.
But what can they, or anyone, do when others lay claim to their titles?
Imagine yourself in their shoes. You’ve finally finished your medical degree or handed in your PhD thesis. You’ve changed the prefix on your phone bill to “Dr” and you beam forgivingly and fondly (not the way you normally feel about Telstra) when your next demand for overdue payment arrives.
Or, you’ve completed a gruelling engineering course in which you’ve been transformed from mere mortal to critical thinker and creative designer. Your new employer expects you to design a frictionless yacht or a car that runs on rusty iron filings by the end of the week.
In both instances, you have a HECS debt equivalent to the gross domestic product of Burkina Faso (hence why your phone bill is overdue).
How would you feel when confronted by people with no right to a title you’ve killed yourself to become worthy of???
When it comes to doctors, I imagine the Hippocratic Oath is the only thing keeping some of these impostors safe in their beds.
I’m talking about the Plumbing Doctor.
(Boo! Hiss!)
I’m talking about the “Doctors” of Homeopathy (quacks!), the Sleep Doctor (mattress shop), the Fridge Doctor (refrigeration mechanic), and the Hair Doctor (hairdressing salon).
Yes, in the United States, they even have the Gun Doctor.
It’s probably fair to say that NONE of these people can remove an appendix. None of them can deliver a baby. None of them are trustworthy enough to have the power to dispense opioid medications – but they’re all trying to cash in on the professionalism and trustworthiness of REAL doctors by slapping on the title.
What about the engineers? How would William D. Coolidge (inventor of the x-ray tube), Seymour Cray (first supercomputer) or Rudolph Diesel (figure that one out yourself) feel about the…wait for it… Fashion Engineer?
Or the majority of Sales Engineers, who don’t have an engineering degree? (You people are sales reps! REPS! Engineers do not visit retailers to dust the shelves and chat to the boss. Engineers do not sit in a call centre providing post-sales product support.)
Calling yourself an engineer when you don’t have the piece of paper is a cheap attempt to annexe their prestige and credibility! I don’t want to see a “Food Service Engineer” waiting tables at a restaurant. I don’t want to see a garbage truck being driven by a “Waste Management Engineer”.
I’m not talking about the Civil Engineers who design dumps and recycling facilities. I’m talking about the burly guy with gloves who jiggles the lever when the wheelie bin gets stuck upside-down on the edge of the truck.
I don’t even want to contemplate the existence of Customer Service Engineers:
Really Long Link
“Ideally you will be experienced in all facets of photocopiers, facsimile and printer services and maintenance. However, an IT or electronic background Certificate III or IV in Information Technology would be highly regarded.”
Photocopier and fax machine maintenance??? Unbelievable!
DON’T call yourself an engineer unless you can build a skyscraper that doesn’t fall down, establish the fundamentals of biomechanics in the human body or prove that rocket engines can provide thrust in a vacuum!
Some day, resumes like this could become REAL!
Really Long Link
Obviously this guy picked up on the one vital course that was missing from this year’s UAC guide, the Bachelor of Engineering, (Jelly Bean Quality).
Maybe they could offer it at the Ponds Institute?
But that is another can of worms, for another day.
But what can they, or anyone, do when others lay claim to their titles?
Imagine yourself in their shoes. You’ve finally finished your medical degree or handed in your PhD thesis. You’ve changed the prefix on your phone bill to “Dr” and you beam forgivingly and fondly (not the way you normally feel about Telstra) when your next demand for overdue payment arrives.
Or, you’ve completed a gruelling engineering course in which you’ve been transformed from mere mortal to critical thinker and creative designer. Your new employer expects you to design a frictionless yacht or a car that runs on rusty iron filings by the end of the week.
In both instances, you have a HECS debt equivalent to the gross domestic product of Burkina Faso (hence why your phone bill is overdue).
How would you feel when confronted by people with no right to a title you’ve killed yourself to become worthy of???
When it comes to doctors, I imagine the Hippocratic Oath is the only thing keeping some of these impostors safe in their beds.
I’m talking about the Plumbing Doctor.
(Boo! Hiss!)
I’m talking about the “Doctors” of Homeopathy (quacks!), the Sleep Doctor (mattress shop), the Fridge Doctor (refrigeration mechanic), and the Hair Doctor (hairdressing salon).
Yes, in the United States, they even have the Gun Doctor.
It’s probably fair to say that NONE of these people can remove an appendix. None of them can deliver a baby. None of them are trustworthy enough to have the power to dispense opioid medications – but they’re all trying to cash in on the professionalism and trustworthiness of REAL doctors by slapping on the title.
What about the engineers? How would William D. Coolidge (inventor of the x-ray tube), Seymour Cray (first supercomputer) or Rudolph Diesel (figure that one out yourself) feel about the…wait for it… Fashion Engineer?
Or the majority of Sales Engineers, who don’t have an engineering degree? (You people are sales reps! REPS! Engineers do not visit retailers to dust the shelves and chat to the boss. Engineers do not sit in a call centre providing post-sales product support.)
Calling yourself an engineer when you don’t have the piece of paper is a cheap attempt to annexe their prestige and credibility! I don’t want to see a “Food Service Engineer” waiting tables at a restaurant. I don’t want to see a garbage truck being driven by a “Waste Management Engineer”.
I’m not talking about the Civil Engineers who design dumps and recycling facilities. I’m talking about the burly guy with gloves who jiggles the lever when the wheelie bin gets stuck upside-down on the edge of the truck.
I don’t even want to contemplate the existence of Customer Service Engineers:
Really Long Link
“Ideally you will be experienced in all facets of photocopiers, facsimile and printer services and maintenance. However, an IT or electronic background Certificate III or IV in Information Technology would be highly regarded.”
Photocopier and fax machine maintenance??? Unbelievable!
DON’T call yourself an engineer unless you can build a skyscraper that doesn’t fall down, establish the fundamentals of biomechanics in the human body or prove that rocket engines can provide thrust in a vacuum!
Some day, resumes like this could become REAL!
Really Long Link
Obviously this guy picked up on the one vital course that was missing from this year’s UAC guide, the Bachelor of Engineering, (Jelly Bean Quality).
Maybe they could offer it at the Ponds Institute?
But that is another can of worms, for another day.
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Comment by Johnny Come Lately
Jack's Back
Loved this post!
Comment by Thoraiya Dyer
Demented World
Managers = managers!
Comment by Cheryl J
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Zentertainment
I agree with everything you have here but do you know what I do find really funny about some doctors? They spend a motza on getting their degrees and going through internship so that they can be called Dr Whoever but then they become surgeons and ask to be called Mr Whoever and if you call them doctor they get all huffy. Hilarious!
Oh and Johnny I used to be a Marketing Officer and always felt like I should salute someone when I said it. I finally became a Sponsorship Coordinator which was at least what I did - coordinate.
Comment by Morgan Bell
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Comment by Thoraiya Dyer
Demented World
(Surgeons get called Mr? Interesting!)
Morgan: SANDWICH ARTIST???!!!
OMG, it is TRUE!
Look out Arthur Boyd!
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Current Business News
Movie Train
Artist Quirk