Thoraiya DyerThe Lemon Detox “Diet”, Brought To You By The Alien Ruler Of a Galactic Confederacy
May 6th 2008 01:55
Prepare yourself for a shock. The Lemon Detox Diet is not a diet!
Well, can it remove toxins?
Maybe. Maybe not.
Examine the evidence for yourself – provided by the same people who accept as fact the notion that some of our past traumas have been implanted into our heads “by extraterrestrial dictatorships to brainwash and control the population.”
Ohhhh, yeah.
Let’s start from the beginning. The TV ads for the Lemon Detox Diet, like many TV ads, were starting to annoy me.
It was with astonishment that I discovered, on a the official front page of the Lemon Detox Diet (on a page entitled “The Lemon Detox Diet” (lemondetox.com)), the following warning:
“Please note this is a detox, NOT a diet. We recommend that you consult a practitioner if you have any concerns about excessive weight loss.”
Not a diet? But it has the word “diet” in it, repeated so many times that the three words are inseperable!
Plus, it fits in so well with all the other ludicrous temporary weight loss options. Eat lots of protein but don’t eat carbs. Eat lots of carbs but only eat them every second day. Eat what you like but take pills so you don’t absorb anything. Eat nothing and drink protein shakes instead.
How does “eat nothing for 10 days except for lemon juice mixed with maple syrup and cayenne pepper” fail to qualify?
The Lemon Detox comments page is full of remarks like this:
“The Natural Tree Syrup was (surprisingly) enjoyable to drink and completely curbed my food cravings!”
“I felt a bit light-headed on day two and had a slight headache. No one could have prepared for my findings when I got on the scale the morning of day two. I had lost 5 lbs.!”
“So, 10 days later I’ve lost 16 pounds.”
(That last one is quite terrifying if it’s true.)
Lemon Detox has all the essential ingredients of a true fad diet – non-nutritionally balanced, harmful in the long term and promising a whole lot of rubbish including, “Stronger willpower and determination,” “Improved concentration and clarity of thought” and “Happier, more positive outlook”.
These are all mental attributes. Can the Lemon Detox Diet really improve your thinking ability? Sugar can make you temporarily sharp, and the diet is basically sugar water with a few vitamins and minerals, but can it sustain you for ten days?
Not according to this Brain Food article ( found here: Really Long Link ).
“Thinking is a biochemical process. For brain cells to communicate effectively with each other to create neural pathways, they require chemicals called neurotransmitters. Neurotransmitters are the 'messengers' carrying messages from neuron to neuron.
Neurotransmitters are made from amino acids found in protein foods e.g., meat, fish and cheese.”
Oh, dear. Seems like you need real food to improve your brain power. And the protein isn’t all.
“The brain is more than 60% fat. This is because the brain cells are covered by the myelin sheath which is composed of approximately 75% fat. Fats also play a crucial role as messengers. They regulate key aspects of the immune system, blood circulation, inflammation, memory and mood.
Omega 3 fatty acids are essential to the optimum performance of your brain. Lack of omega-3 fats in your diet can lead to depression, poor memory, low IQ, learning disabilities, dyslexia, ADD and many more mental disorders.”
With no solids permitted on the Lemon Detox Diet, it seems like you might be stupider at the end, rather than smarter. But being stupid could explain why you feel happier. You’ve saved so much money on grocery bills you can afford to buy yourself a pink, lacy push-up bra and a teddybear ringtone subscription.
“Unfortunately,” bemoans the Lemon Detox website, “much of what we consume in the western world has limited nutritional value.”
So true! And one of the best examples of limited nutritional value is the Lemon Detox diet!
Offer it to starving Asians, and see if they aren’t cluey enough to choose a bowl of rice and beans instead.
Next, I wondered how detoxifying the Diet actually was, so I tried to find the Diet’s proposed mechanism of action. After all, I can hardly disagree with the notion that “the numerous chemicals and toxins that have been introduced into the natural environment can find their ways into our bodies through the air we breathe and the water we drink.”
But all it says is that the body “naturally” cleanses itself in the absence of solid food.
Most of the enthusiasts on the “Practitioners” page are what you would call alternative therapists (I would call them a mixed bag of gullible suckers and con artists) – colon hydrotherapists, bioresonance practitioners, homeopaths, iridologists and aromatherapists – but there is a lone obstetrician willing to put his name to the product.
“The main objective of our pre-conceptional programme is to renew the adipose tissues of the body, in order to reduce the amount of all sorts of fat soluble synthetic chemicals such as PCBs and dioxins,” says Dr Michael Odent.
Now we’re getting somewhere. The idea seems to be that by turning over fat cells, you can get rid of fat-soluble toxins. But where’s the evidence that this occurs?
According to the 2007 article “Detox: Science or Sales Pitch?” by Marc Cohen in the Australian Family Physician,
“Despite the abundance of available detox measures, it is not yet possible to base their use on rigorous scientific evidence. Very few programs actually establish what ‘tox’
is, let alone ‘detox’ and there is little documentation about toxin elimination and associated clinical outcomes. It appears that the science of detoxicology is still in its infancy and while there are hundreds of randomised controlled trials on drug and alcohol detox, there are no such trials of detox programs focusing on environmental toxins.”
Well, blow me down and call me Darwin. Another case of the money-makers jumping the gun.
And it gets even better. Check this out:
“Of the clinical detoxification studies that exist, the majority are observational studies on a detoxification program promoted by the Church of Scientology.”
Oh, yes. Let me introduce you to the L. Ron Hubbard Sauna Detoxification Program.
“The basic elements of the Hubbard detoxification program are the following: a) Daily doses of immediate-release niacin. (b) Moderate aerobic exercise. (c) Intermittent sauna to force sweating, a primary elimination route for toxins.”
In the aftermath of September 11, workers at the World Trade Centre were exposed to terrible levels of toxins, according to the Church of Scientology.
“"Exposures resulting from the WTC disaster are unprecedented. The toxic dust, fume and vapor that arose from the collapsing WTC and subsequent fire contained hundreds of different toxic chemicals, including dioxins, PCBs, asbestos, silica, benzene, polybrominated diphenyl ethers, manganese, chromium, lead, mercury, nickel, oxides of nitrogen and sulfur.”
These all sound terrible. I hate to break it to the scientologists, but you can’t get rid of asbestos by sweating. It’s in your lungs, dudes! LUNGS!
Nonetheless, the reported results are miraculous:
“As of December 31, 2002, 18 responders, including union leaders and some of the most respected firefighters in FDNY, had undergone detoxification…A participant who described himself as "depressed, angry, and sullen," and said that "there was just no enjoyment out of life anymore" came to the program "hoping to regain some sense of normalcy."
After completion of the process, he reported the following to Project personnel:
"While on the program I experienced a change in my overall attitude and my mood. The best description I can give is that I feel more comfortable in my own skin. I no longer feel tired, depressed, weak, angry, or sullen. I sleep like a baby now. My future looks bright, and I am not overwhelmed by life like I was prior to the detox and after 9/11.”
Maybe the eighteen workers really did get detoxified. Maybe it was the diet, maybe it was the spa, maybe it was the exercise. And maybe just being surrounded by insanely positive people/being converted to Scientology was what gave them a new will to live.
But I’m not about to believe anything that’s spouted by people who believe that, 75 million years ago, Xenu brought billions of people to Earth in spacecraft resembling Douglas DC-8 airliners, stacked them around volcanoes and blew them up with hydrogen bombs.
You?
Well, can it remove toxins?
Maybe. Maybe not.
Examine the evidence for yourself – provided by the same people who accept as fact the notion that some of our past traumas have been implanted into our heads “by extraterrestrial dictatorships to brainwash and control the population.”
Ohhhh, yeah.
Let’s start from the beginning. The TV ads for the Lemon Detox Diet, like many TV ads, were starting to annoy me.
It was with astonishment that I discovered, on a the official front page of the Lemon Detox Diet (on a page entitled “The Lemon Detox Diet” (lemondetox.com)), the following warning:
“Please note this is a detox, NOT a diet. We recommend that you consult a practitioner if you have any concerns about excessive weight loss.”
Not a diet? But it has the word “diet” in it, repeated so many times that the three words are inseperable!
Plus, it fits in so well with all the other ludicrous temporary weight loss options. Eat lots of protein but don’t eat carbs. Eat lots of carbs but only eat them every second day. Eat what you like but take pills so you don’t absorb anything. Eat nothing and drink protein shakes instead.
How does “eat nothing for 10 days except for lemon juice mixed with maple syrup and cayenne pepper” fail to qualify?
The Lemon Detox comments page is full of remarks like this:
“The Natural Tree Syrup was (surprisingly) enjoyable to drink and completely curbed my food cravings!”
“I felt a bit light-headed on day two and had a slight headache. No one could have prepared for my findings when I got on the scale the morning of day two. I had lost 5 lbs.!”
“So, 10 days later I’ve lost 16 pounds.”
(That last one is quite terrifying if it’s true.)
Lemon Detox has all the essential ingredients of a true fad diet – non-nutritionally balanced, harmful in the long term and promising a whole lot of rubbish including, “Stronger willpower and determination,” “Improved concentration and clarity of thought” and “Happier, more positive outlook”.
These are all mental attributes. Can the Lemon Detox Diet really improve your thinking ability? Sugar can make you temporarily sharp, and the diet is basically sugar water with a few vitamins and minerals, but can it sustain you for ten days?
Not according to this Brain Food article ( found here: Really Long Link ).
“Thinking is a biochemical process. For brain cells to communicate effectively with each other to create neural pathways, they require chemicals called neurotransmitters. Neurotransmitters are the 'messengers' carrying messages from neuron to neuron.
Neurotransmitters are made from amino acids found in protein foods e.g., meat, fish and cheese.”
Oh, dear. Seems like you need real food to improve your brain power. And the protein isn’t all.
“The brain is more than 60% fat. This is because the brain cells are covered by the myelin sheath which is composed of approximately 75% fat. Fats also play a crucial role as messengers. They regulate key aspects of the immune system, blood circulation, inflammation, memory and mood.
Omega 3 fatty acids are essential to the optimum performance of your brain. Lack of omega-3 fats in your diet can lead to depression, poor memory, low IQ, learning disabilities, dyslexia, ADD and many more mental disorders.”
With no solids permitted on the Lemon Detox Diet, it seems like you might be stupider at the end, rather than smarter. But being stupid could explain why you feel happier. You’ve saved so much money on grocery bills you can afford to buy yourself a pink, lacy push-up bra and a teddybear ringtone subscription.
“Unfortunately,” bemoans the Lemon Detox website, “much of what we consume in the western world has limited nutritional value.”
So true! And one of the best examples of limited nutritional value is the Lemon Detox diet!
Offer it to starving Asians, and see if they aren’t cluey enough to choose a bowl of rice and beans instead.
Next, I wondered how detoxifying the Diet actually was, so I tried to find the Diet’s proposed mechanism of action. After all, I can hardly disagree with the notion that “the numerous chemicals and toxins that have been introduced into the natural environment can find their ways into our bodies through the air we breathe and the water we drink.”
But all it says is that the body “naturally” cleanses itself in the absence of solid food.
Most of the enthusiasts on the “Practitioners” page are what you would call alternative therapists (I would call them a mixed bag of gullible suckers and con artists) – colon hydrotherapists, bioresonance practitioners, homeopaths, iridologists and aromatherapists – but there is a lone obstetrician willing to put his name to the product.
“The main objective of our pre-conceptional programme is to renew the adipose tissues of the body, in order to reduce the amount of all sorts of fat soluble synthetic chemicals such as PCBs and dioxins,” says Dr Michael Odent.
Now we’re getting somewhere. The idea seems to be that by turning over fat cells, you can get rid of fat-soluble toxins. But where’s the evidence that this occurs?
According to the 2007 article “Detox: Science or Sales Pitch?” by Marc Cohen in the Australian Family Physician,
“Despite the abundance of available detox measures, it is not yet possible to base their use on rigorous scientific evidence. Very few programs actually establish what ‘tox’
is, let alone ‘detox’ and there is little documentation about toxin elimination and associated clinical outcomes. It appears that the science of detoxicology is still in its infancy and while there are hundreds of randomised controlled trials on drug and alcohol detox, there are no such trials of detox programs focusing on environmental toxins.”
Well, blow me down and call me Darwin. Another case of the money-makers jumping the gun.
And it gets even better. Check this out:
“Of the clinical detoxification studies that exist, the majority are observational studies on a detoxification program promoted by the Church of Scientology.”
Oh, yes. Let me introduce you to the L. Ron Hubbard Sauna Detoxification Program.
“The basic elements of the Hubbard detoxification program are the following: a) Daily doses of immediate-release niacin. (b) Moderate aerobic exercise. (c) Intermittent sauna to force sweating, a primary elimination route for toxins.”
In the aftermath of September 11, workers at the World Trade Centre were exposed to terrible levels of toxins, according to the Church of Scientology.
“"Exposures resulting from the WTC disaster are unprecedented. The toxic dust, fume and vapor that arose from the collapsing WTC and subsequent fire contained hundreds of different toxic chemicals, including dioxins, PCBs, asbestos, silica, benzene, polybrominated diphenyl ethers, manganese, chromium, lead, mercury, nickel, oxides of nitrogen and sulfur.”
These all sound terrible. I hate to break it to the scientologists, but you can’t get rid of asbestos by sweating. It’s in your lungs, dudes! LUNGS!
Nonetheless, the reported results are miraculous:
“As of December 31, 2002, 18 responders, including union leaders and some of the most respected firefighters in FDNY, had undergone detoxification…A participant who described himself as "depressed, angry, and sullen," and said that "there was just no enjoyment out of life anymore" came to the program "hoping to regain some sense of normalcy."
After completion of the process, he reported the following to Project personnel:
"While on the program I experienced a change in my overall attitude and my mood. The best description I can give is that I feel more comfortable in my own skin. I no longer feel tired, depressed, weak, angry, or sullen. I sleep like a baby now. My future looks bright, and I am not overwhelmed by life like I was prior to the detox and after 9/11.”
Maybe the eighteen workers really did get detoxified. Maybe it was the diet, maybe it was the spa, maybe it was the exercise. And maybe just being surrounded by insanely positive people/being converted to Scientology was what gave them a new will to live.
But I’m not about to believe anything that’s spouted by people who believe that, 75 million years ago, Xenu brought billions of people to Earth in spacecraft resembling Douglas DC-8 airliners, stacked them around volcanoes and blew them up with hydrogen bombs.
You?
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