Thoraiya DyerThe Lies You Don’t Even Notice Any More
May 25th 2008 22:23
What do all these slogans have in common?
“Beauty is Experience” – Nivea anti-age cream for women.
“Infinite Possibilities” – Mercedes Benz
“What Men Want” – Nivea shaving lotion for men
“You Can Really Live In lake Macquarie” – Real Estate Agent signage
“Every Mum Loves Bikes” – Big W Mother’s Day Catalogue (in the same catalogue: “Every Mum Loves Nap Time” and “Every Mum Loves Coffee”)
Answer: They are total bollocks, and we are so used to it that we don’t even notice any more.
Sometimes a bit of exaggeration in advertising, a bit of humour, something to make us laugh, relieves the tedium of a commercial break. When a giant hand and pair of tongs uses the continent of Australia to cook a steak, it’s funny. When cups of coffee and donuts with arms and legs scurry in terror from a breath freshener, that’s funny, too.
But what about the tagline “Beauty is Experience” for an anti-age product? The marketer clearly doesn’t believe that life experience, with all its associated liver spots and lines, is acceptable. They want you to buy their creams to try and make yourself look younger and less experienced.
That’s not funny at all. Coming from Nivea, it’s outrageous.
How about “Infinite Possibilities?”
Well, that is patently not true. If I wanted my Merc to fly into the sky, I could try, but I’d end up dead at the bottom of a cliff. If I wanted to chat sensibly to it, I doubt it could manage so much as, “hello.”
And if I wanted it to communicate with other cars, to keep me safe from tailgaters and psycho people barging blindly into my lane?
No!
Tragically, the possibilities are all too finite.
“What Men Want” is another interesting one. Seeing as 2.7 billion people live on less than $2 a day (says the World Bank, anyway), I’m guessing that What Many Men Want more than they Want shaving cream is food and maybe a house.
And it’s not just the men below the poverty line. If I check the ABS, only 4.4% of young adults (aged 18-34) in Australia own their own house.
So even rich, first-world men probably would rather have a house than a “comfortable shave” that they “can’t get enough of”.
Moving on.
“You Can Really Live In Lake Macquarie.”
No, you can’t. It’s a lake. You’ll drown. And, anyway, what do you suppose we who live far away from the Lake are doing? Not really living? Just pretending?
Last but not least, we have the insistence that,
“Every Mum Loves Bikes.”
I don’t love bikes. I’m not a mum yet, but, clearly, as soon as I pop one out I will experience a deep longing to have a bike. I’d better be careful, because, apparently,
“Every Mum Loves Nap Time.”
What happens if I can’t resist nap time while I’m pedalling along on my beloved bike? This motherhood business sounds deadly! Maybe I’d better rethink the whole plan?
Or maybe I should stop reading junk mail. But then, what would I write about on my blog??
“Beauty is Experience” – Nivea anti-age cream for women.
“Infinite Possibilities” – Mercedes Benz
“What Men Want” – Nivea shaving lotion for men
“You Can Really Live In lake Macquarie” – Real Estate Agent signage
“Every Mum Loves Bikes” – Big W Mother’s Day Catalogue (in the same catalogue: “Every Mum Loves Nap Time” and “Every Mum Loves Coffee”)
Answer: They are total bollocks, and we are so used to it that we don’t even notice any more.
Sometimes a bit of exaggeration in advertising, a bit of humour, something to make us laugh, relieves the tedium of a commercial break. When a giant hand and pair of tongs uses the continent of Australia to cook a steak, it’s funny. When cups of coffee and donuts with arms and legs scurry in terror from a breath freshener, that’s funny, too.
But what about the tagline “Beauty is Experience” for an anti-age product? The marketer clearly doesn’t believe that life experience, with all its associated liver spots and lines, is acceptable. They want you to buy their creams to try and make yourself look younger and less experienced.
That’s not funny at all. Coming from Nivea, it’s outrageous.
How about “Infinite Possibilities?”
Well, that is patently not true. If I wanted my Merc to fly into the sky, I could try, but I’d end up dead at the bottom of a cliff. If I wanted to chat sensibly to it, I doubt it could manage so much as, “hello.”
And if I wanted it to communicate with other cars, to keep me safe from tailgaters and psycho people barging blindly into my lane?
No!
Tragically, the possibilities are all too finite.
“What Men Want” is another interesting one. Seeing as 2.7 billion people live on less than $2 a day (says the World Bank, anyway), I’m guessing that What Many Men Want more than they Want shaving cream is food and maybe a house.
And it’s not just the men below the poverty line. If I check the ABS, only 4.4% of young adults (aged 18-34) in Australia own their own house.
So even rich, first-world men probably would rather have a house than a “comfortable shave” that they “can’t get enough of”.
Moving on.
“You Can Really Live In Lake Macquarie.”
No, you can’t. It’s a lake. You’ll drown. And, anyway, what do you suppose we who live far away from the Lake are doing? Not really living? Just pretending?
Last but not least, we have the insistence that,
“Every Mum Loves Bikes.”
I don’t love bikes. I’m not a mum yet, but, clearly, as soon as I pop one out I will experience a deep longing to have a bike. I’d better be careful, because, apparently,
“Every Mum Loves Nap Time.”
What happens if I can’t resist nap time while I’m pedalling along on my beloved bike? This motherhood business sounds deadly! Maybe I’d better rethink the whole plan?
Or maybe I should stop reading junk mail. But then, what would I write about on my blog??
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