Thoraiya DyerWhy Men Don’t Need Enlargements
April 24th 2008 03:26
I’ve wasted plenty of time in the past deleting male-member-oriented spam from my inbox. Pretty soon, the junk filters were upgraded and the “gain an extra three inches!” rubbish went away. But now I’ve got to listen to offensive “nasal technology” ads on the radio and endure “sniff and stiff” playing the piano on TV, and there can be no other explanation but one:
The ads are working. Men are actually falling prey to this conniving attack on their insecurities.
Well, here’s news. We like your penises just how they are. If you have a real medical problem, feel free to see a GP or a gynaecologist, but you aren’t going to fall into the relationship of your dreams just because you can last 90 seconds instead of 60.
And you definitely aren’t going to satisfy a woman any more by wielding a penis the size of a butternut pumpkin. For heaven’s sake, penis length has very little to do with anything, and with a few psychology and physiology lessons, we’ll all understand why.
First, the psychology.
A woman’s biggest sex organ is her brain. In most cases, the biggest turn-ons for her are the things leading up to intercourse, rather than intercourse itself.
In a paper co-authored by Dr Catherine Coulson from the Department of Reproductive Medicine at the University of Bristol, we find this frank assessment:
“Although many women may experience spontaneous desire and interest while in the throes of a new sexual relationship or after a long separation from a partner, most women in long-term relationships do not frequently think of sex or experience spontaneous hunger for sexual activity.
In these latter cases, a desire for increased emotional closeness and intimacy or overtures from a partner may predispose a woman to participate in sexual activity.
From this point of sexual neutrality—where a woman is receptive to being sexual but does not initiate sexual activity—the desire for intimacy prompts her to seek ways to become sexually aroused via conversation, music, reading or viewing erotic materials, or direct stimulation.”
That was a bit cold and clinical. Let’s hear a different version.
In Dr John Gray’s introduction to “Mars and Venus In The Bedroom,” he points out to us what we’ve always known:
“He wants sex. She wants romance. Sometimes it seems as if our partners are from different planets, as if he’s from Mars and she’s from Venus.
“Ironically, it is sex that allows a man to feel his need for love, while it is receiving love that helps a woman to feel her hunger for sex.”
In other words, you can’t be the world’s greatest lover just by waving your giant schlong around. You have to first address your lover’s romantic and emotional needs.
And there’s no nasal technology for that.
Don’t misunderstand. Women enjoy sex as much as men. It’s just that they need to feel loved and special before they come to realise how badly they want a root.
Even when you do start becoming physically intimate, says Dr Gray,
“It could be days before she wants to have sex.
When a man becomes aroused, it is immediately sexual. To wait days requires enormous restraint on his part. It is hard for him to understand her different requirements because they are not his experience.”
Considering these fundamental variations between genders, I guess it’s conceivable for men to assume that what women really want is to have a horse-sized penis in their vagina ASAP.
Penetration is the best part of sex for men, so why shouldn’t it be the best part for women? Why shouldn’t he assume that pumping away for as long as he can, as hard as he can, is going to make her happy? It sure makes him happy!
Let’s read a little further.
“When I interview women about what they want most from a man, again and again they tell me they want a lover with a slow hand. This slow process increases her pleasure so that when his fingers and tongue eventually move to touch her breasts, her nipples are erect and longing to be touched. When he moves to her inner thighs, vulva, labia, clitoris and vagina, she is already wet, warm and ready to be touched.
A man is different. Directly touching his penis dramatically increases his pleasure.”
And the discrepancies don’t stop there.
“Basically, a man needs about two or three minutes of stimulation to have an orgasm. It is generally a very simple process, as easy as shaking a can of beer and letting it pop.
If a woman is to have an orgasm, she generally needs about ten times that amount of time. She needs twenty to thirty minutes of foreplay and stimulation of her genitals.”
Twenty to thirty minutes. Reflect on that as you read this advertisement for Zoren erection enhancers:
“A…sexually healthy male is…able to maintain his ultra male erection for sufficient period of time to please his woman again and again, every time she desires or craves his masterful strokes.”
Just goes to show what the makers of Zoran know about women, eh?
I don’t care how "ultra" your male erection is, she doesn’t want thirty minutes of "masterful strokes", geddit??!!
In a study by Schober, Meyer-Bahlberg and Ransey at the Colombia University College of Physicians and Surgeons, women reported finding,
“…the strongest orgasm and least effort to obtain an orgasm with stimulation of the area on and above the clitoris.”
They also reported decreasing vaginal sensitivity with vaginal depth.
This fits perfectly with anatomical studies that show, although there is variation between individuals, the erogenous zones with the most dense nerve supply in women are the clitoris and (not present in all women but detectable by ultrasound) the G-Spot, located in the front wall of the vagina - and not located particularly deep.
Dare I suggest that any penis longer than your little finger is going to reach that far? Doesn't it seem like sufficient foreplay is going to make her happy even if intercourse lasts for a minute or less? Can it be that slamming in fifty to a hundred “masterful strokes” is going to be far less effective than advertising leads us to believe?
Of course, if the aim is not to satisfy women but to just feel better about your size or prowess, maybe you should take heed of this 2007 study, from Blackwell Medicine and Health:
“Women are much more interested in a man’s personality and looks than the size of his penis, but men can experience real anxiety even if they are average sized, according to a research review published in the June issue of the urology journal BJU International.
“A survey of over 50,000 heterosexual men and women found that 66 per cent of men said their penis was average sized, 22 per cent said large and 12 per cent said small. 85 per cent of women were satisfied with their partner’s penile size, but only 55 per cent of men were satisfied.
“One study found that 63 per cent of men complaining of small penises said their anxieties started with childhood comparisons and 37 per cent blamed erotic images viewed in their teenage years. None of the men studied actually had a micropenis.”
I imagine most of the men who call the nasal delivery hotline are simply stressing about it all too much. Says the APA online:
“Boston University psychologist David Barlow, PhD, and his colleagues conducted a series of studies to examine the relationship between anxiety and sexual arousal. They found that men with and without sexual problems reacted very differently to anxiety-inducing threats of mild electric shock.
Men who reported having no trouble getting and maintaining erections, says Barlow, "would believe that they were going to get shocked if they didn't get aroused, so they would focus on the erotic scene." The result was that the threat of shock actually increased sexual arousal. But men who had sexual problems responded to the threat of shock very differently, says Barlow. "Their attention would be so focused on the negative outcomes that they wouldn't be able to process the erotic cues," he explains.”
It’s all in your minds! Have confidence!
And whatever you do, don’t torture your poor, innocent penis with pumps, pills or surgical procedures. It never complains about you.
The ads are working. Men are actually falling prey to this conniving attack on their insecurities.
Well, here’s news. We like your penises just how they are. If you have a real medical problem, feel free to see a GP or a gynaecologist, but you aren’t going to fall into the relationship of your dreams just because you can last 90 seconds instead of 60.
And you definitely aren’t going to satisfy a woman any more by wielding a penis the size of a butternut pumpkin. For heaven’s sake, penis length has very little to do with anything, and with a few psychology and physiology lessons, we’ll all understand why.
First, the psychology.
A woman’s biggest sex organ is her brain. In most cases, the biggest turn-ons for her are the things leading up to intercourse, rather than intercourse itself.
In a paper co-authored by Dr Catherine Coulson from the Department of Reproductive Medicine at the University of Bristol, we find this frank assessment:
“Although many women may experience spontaneous desire and interest while in the throes of a new sexual relationship or after a long separation from a partner, most women in long-term relationships do not frequently think of sex or experience spontaneous hunger for sexual activity.
In these latter cases, a desire for increased emotional closeness and intimacy or overtures from a partner may predispose a woman to participate in sexual activity.
From this point of sexual neutrality—where a woman is receptive to being sexual but does not initiate sexual activity—the desire for intimacy prompts her to seek ways to become sexually aroused via conversation, music, reading or viewing erotic materials, or direct stimulation.”
That was a bit cold and clinical. Let’s hear a different version.
In Dr John Gray’s introduction to “Mars and Venus In The Bedroom,” he points out to us what we’ve always known:
“He wants sex. She wants romance. Sometimes it seems as if our partners are from different planets, as if he’s from Mars and she’s from Venus.
“Ironically, it is sex that allows a man to feel his need for love, while it is receiving love that helps a woman to feel her hunger for sex.”
In other words, you can’t be the world’s greatest lover just by waving your giant schlong around. You have to first address your lover’s romantic and emotional needs.
And there’s no nasal technology for that.
Don’t misunderstand. Women enjoy sex as much as men. It’s just that they need to feel loved and special before they come to realise how badly they want a root.
Even when you do start becoming physically intimate, says Dr Gray,
“It could be days before she wants to have sex.
When a man becomes aroused, it is immediately sexual. To wait days requires enormous restraint on his part. It is hard for him to understand her different requirements because they are not his experience.”
Considering these fundamental variations between genders, I guess it’s conceivable for men to assume that what women really want is to have a horse-sized penis in their vagina ASAP.
Penetration is the best part of sex for men, so why shouldn’t it be the best part for women? Why shouldn’t he assume that pumping away for as long as he can, as hard as he can, is going to make her happy? It sure makes him happy!
Let’s read a little further.
“When I interview women about what they want most from a man, again and again they tell me they want a lover with a slow hand. This slow process increases her pleasure so that when his fingers and tongue eventually move to touch her breasts, her nipples are erect and longing to be touched. When he moves to her inner thighs, vulva, labia, clitoris and vagina, she is already wet, warm and ready to be touched.
A man is different. Directly touching his penis dramatically increases his pleasure.”
And the discrepancies don’t stop there.
“Basically, a man needs about two or three minutes of stimulation to have an orgasm. It is generally a very simple process, as easy as shaking a can of beer and letting it pop.
If a woman is to have an orgasm, she generally needs about ten times that amount of time. She needs twenty to thirty minutes of foreplay and stimulation of her genitals.”
Twenty to thirty minutes. Reflect on that as you read this advertisement for Zoren erection enhancers:
“A…sexually healthy male is…able to maintain his ultra male erection for sufficient period of time to please his woman again and again, every time she desires or craves his masterful strokes.”
Just goes to show what the makers of Zoran know about women, eh?
I don’t care how "ultra" your male erection is, she doesn’t want thirty minutes of "masterful strokes", geddit??!!
In a study by Schober, Meyer-Bahlberg and Ransey at the Colombia University College of Physicians and Surgeons, women reported finding,
“…the strongest orgasm and least effort to obtain an orgasm with stimulation of the area on and above the clitoris.”
They also reported decreasing vaginal sensitivity with vaginal depth.
This fits perfectly with anatomical studies that show, although there is variation between individuals, the erogenous zones with the most dense nerve supply in women are the clitoris and (not present in all women but detectable by ultrasound) the G-Spot, located in the front wall of the vagina - and not located particularly deep.
Dare I suggest that any penis longer than your little finger is going to reach that far? Doesn't it seem like sufficient foreplay is going to make her happy even if intercourse lasts for a minute or less? Can it be that slamming in fifty to a hundred “masterful strokes” is going to be far less effective than advertising leads us to believe?
Of course, if the aim is not to satisfy women but to just feel better about your size or prowess, maybe you should take heed of this 2007 study, from Blackwell Medicine and Health:
“Women are much more interested in a man’s personality and looks than the size of his penis, but men can experience real anxiety even if they are average sized, according to a research review published in the June issue of the urology journal BJU International.
“A survey of over 50,000 heterosexual men and women found that 66 per cent of men said their penis was average sized, 22 per cent said large and 12 per cent said small. 85 per cent of women were satisfied with their partner’s penile size, but only 55 per cent of men were satisfied.
“One study found that 63 per cent of men complaining of small penises said their anxieties started with childhood comparisons and 37 per cent blamed erotic images viewed in their teenage years. None of the men studied actually had a micropenis.”
I imagine most of the men who call the nasal delivery hotline are simply stressing about it all too much. Says the APA online:
“Boston University psychologist David Barlow, PhD, and his colleagues conducted a series of studies to examine the relationship between anxiety and sexual arousal. They found that men with and without sexual problems reacted very differently to anxiety-inducing threats of mild electric shock.
Men who reported having no trouble getting and maintaining erections, says Barlow, "would believe that they were going to get shocked if they didn't get aroused, so they would focus on the erotic scene." The result was that the threat of shock actually increased sexual arousal. But men who had sexual problems responded to the threat of shock very differently, says Barlow. "Their attention would be so focused on the negative outcomes that they wouldn't be able to process the erotic cues," he explains.”
It’s all in your minds! Have confidence!
And whatever you do, don’t torture your poor, innocent penis with pumps, pills or surgical procedures. It never complains about you.
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